|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| The media does not cause eating disorders. Skinny models, fashion designers, etc. do not cause eating disorders. Never once have I thought "Wow, the media wants me to be really skinny, so I definitely should." Is the media watching you? No, they don't give two fucks about you. So everyone who thinks that needs to shut the fuck up and stop making excuses. People who want to be skinny and are serious about it will try, people who are fat and complaining the media makes them feel bad and aren't doing anything about it need to shut the fuck up. People with eating disorders don't just catch them from seeing Angelina Jolie or Nicole Richie with their bones sticking out. Maybe it pushes them, but honestly, there are 100 other things that would do just the same. Maybe the skeleton in science class, or, if we're thinking media released pictures, maybe it'd be a picture of a starving child in a third world country. But of course that would never make anyone want to stop eating, no, because that's not what the MEDIA wants you to believe. It's the media who started this anyway, there have been wafer thin models since models became models. Why suddenly has it turned into this horrible cause of an eating-disorder-craze? How many more shows/specials/news segments have you seen on real people with eating disorders now? Certainly more since the models started making people 'feel bad'. Who's responsible for that coverage? Are there more non-models dying of eating disorders now? Have you ever heard that? It's not eating disorders are growing because of models. It's all what they want you to believe and what people will use as an excuse. For being feeling bad about themselves, for being overweight, for whatever god damn reason they want. Eating disorders are just like any other psychological problem. They aren't simply caught from the big bad TV. | | |
| are the best.
I'm totally numb to feelings at the moment. I wanna go out and do something, but that's it.
I'm talking to the kid who completely fucked me over earlier this year, and literally have no feelings towards him or it.
ok, maybe there's a couple underlying feelings , but for the most part, I don't. | | |
| I love my parents, but I don't love living with them. I'm so mean to them when I come home. I can't wait to go back to my apartment, even though basically no one will be there. Oh well. It'll be better than sitting around here doing nothing every day and then fighting with my parents over stupid shit. I feel bad, because I guess a lot of people don't fight with their parents the way I do. This has always just been the way it is, though. I guess when I was younger I just saw my mom yelling all the time and started yelling back at her. It's not that she's an angry person, she just thinks she needs to raise her voice to get the point across I guess. So, of course, I took after her and do that, too. But only to my parents. I don't usually feel that way about everyone else. I guess that sorta sucks.
I ate a bowl of grape nuts with a banana & soy milk so I would have something to tell her I ate. She wasn't even inside, therefore, she will probably make me eat again. Unfortunately for her, she can't really make me do things anymore. | | |
| 96. 96 is apparently correct. I do/don't like that everyone is noticing the weight loss. I don't think it's that much. But people noticing it I guess shows that I actually am losing weight. But I don't want people to think there's something wrong with me and constantly be telling me to eat and making sure I'm eating. It's annoying. No one had ever noticed before when I was this small. I guess I was in high school, wearing a school uniform all the time. I also weighed the most I ever did last year. I was up to 110-112. It was awful. I don't even know where I put it, because I don't feel much smaller than I was last year, but I'm like, 15 lbs smaller. I guess I was more muscle when I weighed 110. I was working out every day. It's weird.
I keep telling myself and everyone else that I'm fine, and I really truly believe that. If I wanted to stop, I could, but I don't want to. I just don't see a point.
in any case, I want to go down to at least 92 before going back to school. That's 4 more pounds. I guess I should just go for the full 90. I mean, I have a while. I dunno when I'm going back to my apartment yet, but probably right after new year's eve, if not before. | | |
| did you ever feel suddenly, inexplicably stupid for no reason at all? I don't know why, but it happens to me from time to time. Not stupid in the sense of not knowing things, but just some weird feeling. When I was younger I remember thinking it felt like I "swallowed a butt" or an eyeball. It doesn't feel like that anymore, I don't know why the fuck I thought that when I was younger, but then again, why did I think a lot of things?
Anyway. I just get this overwhelming feeling of ... nothing? I'm not sure. It's a why am I doing what I'm doing (even just sitting at my computer), or why am I the way I am? Or... anything. At all. But I feel like I am the scum of the earth or completely useless. It's a really, really, fleeting thing (as in only for 30 seconds tops) but it is just the strangest feeling in the world.
I didn't mean for that to be a depressing entry, because it's not really a depressing feeling. Just something weird that happens, I was wondering if it was just me. | | |
|
